The word is desperate. I’m far too desperate at the moment to show that I’ve lived. Because of where I am in life at the moment, living in this horrid shared house, and working in a somewhat boring job, I’m desperate to prove that I am actually capable of something more. It doesn’t help that all around me I am surrounded by people doing what they set out for. I have friends looking into buying houses to do up and rent out, friends going on tour in Europe with their band, friends who are even looking into performing their first set of Standup. The problem is, while my mind continually dwells on that, the rest of me puts no effort into actually going anything about it.
So I’m desperate to succeed, but not motivated to try and scared of failing.