One of my strongest philosophies to live by has always been “No Regrets”. I like to think that whatever I’ve done in the past, be it good or bad, has shaped me to who I am today. I’ve always accepted, and never questioned, the idea that I went to University to do Psychology because it was academic, I was interested in it, and it would look good on a C.V. It was either do Psychology or do something more Writing or Media orientated and I had to ways of thinking. One was that I didn’t want to do something I did for a hobby, I didn’t want it to become work. The other was that I didn’t think a creative subject would look good on a C.V. I thought they’d be under more scrutiny and wouldn’t sound half as impressive. I’ve always thought this way and, as I say, never questioned it. No regrets.
However tonight Woody asked me the question “Do you ever wish you’d done like creative writing?” and my automatic answer was “No” but then something clicked in my brain. All my reasoning for it before were now useless. I’m adamant now that I want a creative job. I don’t want a job where I’m stuck in an office 9 – 5. I think its an absolute sheer waste of life and, the idea of doing it for the next 40, 50 years, makes me angry. So to me a good looking C.V. didn’t mean much, it wasn’t necessary for where I now want to be. Then I also started thinking that if I’d done a creative course I’d maybe have a creative job now. I might be working harder on a book. I’ve had such a creative shift recently with a few revelations of what I actually want to do in the future. I still don’t try as much as I’d like and I put that down to motivation, laziness, and not enough time. Maybe I’d be a lot further along if I’d done something different.
I still don’t regret Psychology. It was the right choice for me at the time and for where I was going. But it also made me realize just how much I don’t want to be in your normal 9-5 as I now have no regard for my C.V. or for climbing any kind of corporate ladder. I want to create more, its my passion. It’s what I’m going to focus on.