I am a notorious over thinker. I have been for literally as long as I can remember. It’s one of the main causes for any time I’m unhappy, skeptical, apprehensive, etc. I sit there and my brain just ticks over, and over, on different tangents of possibility. Sometimes I over think things purely in a negative light too, “What happens if this happens? Then this happens… THEN this happens!” and it just ends up depressing me.
I was telling Woody today about a book I was reading, and about my current goal to make myself happier and his words were “I think this is a case of you over-thinking things again”. Woody has often pointed out my impulse to over think things, but I don’t necessarily think its ALWAYS bad. Sure, I do it to an unparalleled extent sometimes and, yeah, quite often its my main cause of stress, but I think sometimes I need to over think things to get my head straight. I don’t think I can just jump into things quite so easily as other people can. Quite often over thinking has lead me to certain insights about myself and the paths I want to take. Without over thinking I think I’d be less aware of myself as a person, something I’m trying to change each day. I’d be also less aware of my current goal, to be happier. It sounds quite cliche, and I’m not saying I’m depressive and in need of help, nor am I saying this as a cry for help, I just mean I am definitely not as happy as I could be, or as I have been. At 23 I feel there is so much more I should be embracing and I’m letting time pass me by. I imagine everyone believes this whilst in their 20s. So i’m making steps towards it.
The first is by trying to keep a To-Do list again. Yesterdays was ‘Tidy up’ and ‘Do washing’ as I was desperately running out of underwear. Todays was ‘Write a Blog’ which I think we can conclude as being achieved! Hopefully productivity and, ultimately, happiness will flow from some of the steps I’m taking, some of the steps I’ve probably thought too much about, but we’ll see how I go. As with all things thinking should probably be done in moderation. Part of the tweaks I want to make in life to achieve greater happiness is to be able to say Yes more, and these kinds of times I need to think less about negative consequences. But the other times I still want to think, I enjoy thinking things through, I think it makes me far more conscientious as a person.