I keep having realisations… It’s almost like everyday I’m stuck by something so completely obvious that I’ve just been too blind to recently see. It’s probably because my eyes are much more open now, and I’m actively looking for these realisations.
Take this weekend for example, namely Saturday night. I was looking forward to finally going out in a night out, because it’s something I haven’t done for a few months. I was jealous of my friends going out each weekend and had begin to curse my busy schedule. Whilst out I had a fairly good time, marred slightly with the guilt of recent upsets, but overall a fairly nice night… But it also helped me to realise something else… I don’t miss these nights out. The night was good, by all objective reasoning, but it wasn’t worth being jealous of. My jealousy had stemmed more through a fear of “missing out”… Which had in turn left me feeling better about the times I was having instead… Times that were just as good, if not better.
This is just one such ephinany, but it still shows me something. It shows that if I’m more open to learning about my life, and I’m not dwelling on negative thinking, I can change my perspective to one that’s, not only more positive, but makes a good deal more sense.