Stray hairs dance across her cheek as she softly snores to herself in slumber. So peaceful in her subtle movements and tiny mummers; the idiosyncrasies of her sleep known only to me. She’s calm now, at rest; it’s almost easy to forget the recent hardships she faced. Mere moments ago, her body shook with near fatal convulsion; doctors and nurses surrounded her bedside and blocked her from my view. The only remaining evidence of these traumatic few hours being the still lingering fear in the pit of my stomach and constant thump of the IV machine.
It’s in these desperate moments, ones of potential loss and possible grief, that we are struck with unequivocal truth of feeling; it’s in these moments that love shines outright above all else. To be so close and yet so far to someone, to want to communicate but have no means, to want to hold them, shielding them from all agony and upset, but to have no power; we are helpless and weak. Everyday grudges and petty fights are lost and buried under utter devotion. It is in these moments that we feel such fierce compassion, where the end of the earth isn’t even too far for us to go.
Be it family, friend, or both combined, we come to understand the sheer size of our emotion when it is threatened and almost lost. For her, I live one simple reality, one where there is no end I wouldn’t meet to keep her happy, safe, secure. She is, to me, above all things. We may argue, fight and disagree but our connection is permanent, regardless of all tests. So I sit, patiently by her side and guard her as she sleeps. She is my everything, my all, my special someone.